The Phantom Switch
by literary nonsense
Summary: Harry Potter characters and the Saiyuki characters switch souls! What will transpire? Read and find out! I wrote this awhile ago. It's...ok. Blah, at best.


**Well. This is a fic I wrote about a while ago, and I don't think it's very good. But I was instructed to post it anyway, so here it is.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Saiyuki. It's...sad.**

"What the heck!" Hermione gaped at her roommate. "Who are you? Where am I?"

The blonde man glared. He was dressed like some sort of priest or monk, so she didn't worry about being hurt. (Yeah, right.)

"I don't know who you are, but I'm Draco Malfoy! Just you wait until my father finds out I'm missing...you'll be sorry!"

"Draco? You don't..._look_ like Draco..."

"What do you mean by that? I look like I always...do..."

The 'priest' had seen himself in a mirror and his face paled.

"WHAT IS GOING ON!"

They heard similar screams coming from the next room. A second later, two men burst through the door.

"Did you just yell?" the black-haired one asked.

"Yes! I want to know exactly what is happening! Nobody does this to a Malfoy and gets away with it!"

"Malfoy!" The other man, who had amazingly red eyes and hair looked gobsmacked. (I love that word.) "What's the ferret doing here?"

Hermione looked at him sharply. "Ron?"

"Yeah? How do you know me?"

"Oh! It's me, Hemione! And- is that you Harry?"

"Hemione! I'm so glad it's you! What in the name of Merlin is going on?"

"I don't know!" She was almost in tears.

"I don't care!" Draco yelled. "I want to go home! And what in the Hell is this!" He was holding a silver pistol.

"No! Don't!"

Draco, being a Pureblood, Muggle-hating wizard, didn't know what a gun was. So he pulled the trigger.

"Watch out!" Harry, Ron and Hermione dove to the ground as a bullet hit the wall right where Harry's head had been.

"What do you think you're doing, Malfoy! You could have killed me!"

"Shame.." Draco looked at the pistol in his hand. "Maybe Muggles _are_ good for something..."

"What _I_ want to know," Ron said, trying to ignore Draco, "is who's bodies we're in. Because this isn't how I looked when I went to bed last night."

"I don't know. But if we're here, then who's in _our_ bodies?"

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"NAMES! GIVE ME NAMES!"

The occupants of the boy's dorms in the Slytherin dungeons were cowering in fear.

"Draco's scary..."

"Draco's insane!"

"Someone go get Professor Snape!"

"SNAPE? WHO IS THIS SNAPE? AND _WHERE_ IS MY GUN!"

(scene change)

"Oh dear..." Hakkai looked about the red and gold decorated room. "This _is_ a problem..."

"Huh?"

Hakkai looked at the bed across the room from his. A red-haired, freckled boy was blinking sleepily from behind a gap in his curtains.

"I'm terribly sorry, I don't know how I got here..."

"That makes two of us. Or maybe it's a drunken illusion...wouldn't be the first time..."

Hakkai smiled. "You sound like a friend of mine. He's always drinking. And smoking."

"What's wrong with smoking?"

"It kills your lungs. Nicotine is very unhealthy."

The red head snorted in amusement. "Y'know what's creepy? _You_ sound like one of _my _friends. Exactly the same argument. 'Nicotine is bad...smoke blackens your lungs...you should quit'...that kind of crap."

"Does he have a name?" Hakkai asked, suspicious. Perhaps...

"Cho Hakkai. I'm Sha Gojyo, by the way. You wouldn't happen to know where I could get some booze? If this is a drunken fantasy, there's bound to be some."

"Gojyo? I don't think this is a fantasy."

(more scene change)

"WHAT THE HECK!"

Goku glanced fearfully around the room...he was scared.

It wasn't often something frightened Son Goku, but this was enough.

The room was filled with girls!

Goku didn't like girls. He didn't understand them, so...

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

(some more scene change)

Eventually, the four 'visitors' made enough trouble to be called to the Headmaster's office.

"I didn't do anything! It was the girls! THE GIRLS!"

"IDEMAND TO SEE THIS SNAPE CHARACTER!"

"What's everybody's prob? Just have a drink, settle down!"

"I apologize for him- he's not himself."

Dumbledore stared in shock. What was going on?

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"Don't touch me, Potter."

"I wasn't. Why would I touch you?"

"I don't know. I don't understand stupid Gryffindors' minds."

"Both of you! Enough!"

Harry and Draco stared at Hermione. Somehow, she was a lot scarier when she was a boy.

"Now, can we try to get along for five minutes?"

The boys mumbled. Get along?

"Hey...hey guys?"

The three teenagers turned to Ron. He hadn't talked for awhile, and they had forgotten about him. But now he was backed against a wall with a white dragon flying in front of him.

"Help! It's gonna eat me!"

"Cheep cheep!"

Apparently, Ron had never mastered his fear of being bitten by dragons since the 'Norbert incident'.

"Cheep cheep!"

"Noooooooo!"

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"Hey, you're pretty cute..."

"Gojyo, I don't think you should be hitting on her." Hakkai smiled slightly.

"Why? Is she a lesbo?"

"For one, that's rude to say. Second, I'm pretty sure there other two people are Sanzo and Goku."

"DAMN STRAIGHT I AM!"

Sanzo glared around at his three companions. "When I find out who's fault this is..." He let himself trail off, trusting his meaning would be understood.

It was.

"It wasn't me, Sanzo! It was the girls! THE GIRLS!"

The four of them had been left alone in Dumbledore's office while he conferenced with some other teachers.

Things were going well among the Sanzo party, considering the circumstances. Sanzo was pissed that he had no gun, Goku was recovering from his shock, Gojyo was whining about alcohol and nicotine, and Hakkai was smiling at them all.

"I hope we can fix this..."

**Ooh! And here is where I leave you! No worries, though. I have the entire thing written. I just want to see what kind of responses I get before I watse all my time typing it out. Review! Or I'll assume you hate it and it wil be deleted. (Happy thoughts!)**


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